INTHEBLACK July/August 2023 - Magazine - Page 63
C L O S I N G T H E B O O KS
Business buzzwords
we love to hate
From “desk bombing” to “bare minimum Monday”, author and anti-jargon activist
Gabrielle Dolan wrestles with the latest additions to the business vernacular.
Words Helen Hawkes
“Loud leaving”, “bare minimum
Mondays”, “desk bombing” –
what do these buzzwords mean,
and are they even necessary?
Gabrielle Dolan, founder of
Jargon Free Fridays and author
of Real Communication: How to
Be You and Lead True, weighs
in on the latest office jargon.
1. “ASYNCHRONOUS WORKING”
Asynchronous working refers to working
in a team that does not require all
members to be online simultaneously.
Many take “async work” to mean they
are under no obligation to respond
immediately to queries, meeting requests,
instant messages or emails. Rather, they
can choose to answer a query any time
within a reasonable timeframe.
“Isn’t it just ‘working’?’ We should be
saying we respect work–life balance, not
unnecessarily complicating it,” Dolan says.
2. “BARE MINIMUM MONDAY”
After “quiet quitting” – doing the bare
minimum to avoid getting fired – comes
“Bare minimum Monday”, where workers
ease into the work week and do not
pressure themselves to work too hard on
the first day of the week. Some say this
reduces the work-related “depression”
that sets in on a Sunday night.
Dolan says, “We used to call this
‘slacking off’.”
3. “DESK BOMBING”
While it used to be common to drop
by a colleague’s desk unexpectedly –
sometimes on work-related matters,
sometimes not – this is now dubbed “desk
bombing”. One can also “desk bomb”
someone remotely, using Zoom or Teams.
The habit has acquired a negative
connotation, with various remedies
suggested by experts, such as
scheduling social time or signalling
lack of availability with the use of
headphones or online status.
4. “CAREER CUSHIONING”
In the shadow of a global recession,
upskilling to prepare for an economic
downturn is increasingly popular. Dubbed
“career cushioning”, it often involves
keeping one eye on the job market in
the event of sudden unemployment. This
used to be called “being strategic”, says
Dolan. It remains a smart idea, by any
name.
5. “BOOMERANG EMPLOYEES”
Sometimes, quitting a job is a shrewd
career move. Other times, it is a terrible
mistake, only recognised in retrospect.
A boomerang employee leaves a
company, only to return to work there in
future. Following the Great Resignation,
large enough numbers of employees
reconsidered their choices that the term
“boomerang employee” entered the
vernacular.
6. “LOUD LEAVING”
With so many people working remotely,
work has started to creep into more
aspects of our lives. To help staff set
clear boundaries between “work time”
and “off time”, many managers lead
by example, clearly signalling they are
leaving work for the day, whether by
announcing they are going to make
dinner, go for a jog or pick up the kids.
“A boss does need to role model
workplace-friendly behaviour to give
permission to everyone else, so ‘loud
leaving’ is a good thing,” Dolan says.
7. “PRODUCTIVITY PARANOIA”
Some managers struggle to trust their
staff when they cannot see them working.
A 2022 study by Microsoft has found
that only 12 per cent of leaders have
full confidence that their hybrid team
is productive, despite 87 per cent
reporting that they themselves are
productive in a hybrid environment.
Microsoft has subsequently called for
an end to this “productivity paranoia”.
“Numerous studies have shown
that most people are more productive
working from home, possibly because
they are not getting ‘desk bombed!’,”
Dolan says.
“What does productivity look like
anyway? It’s not constantly working.
I am sometimes the most productive
and creative while going for a run
during the day.”
intheblack.cpaaustralia.com.au 63
