INTHEBLACK February 2024 - Magazine - Page 54
WORK SMART
TEDx Talk, Adar Cohen: How to lead tough, unavoidable conversations
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“Mediation, either externally or internally, may
be a way to help you and your manager find a
solution that you can both live with, without the
negative costs of ongoing disputes,” Blake says.
A difficult conversation in the workplace need
not lead to an outbreak of hostilities.
Blake offers four tips on how to handle the
situation productively.
1. MANAGE EMOTIONS
“As with any disagreement, points of difference
can quickly escalate to conflict when our
emotions start driving the interaction.
“If your manager has requested that you do
something, and you’ve identified a misalignment,
pause! Leaping in with righteous anger will not
help,” Blake says.
2. APPROACH WITH CURIOSITY, NOT
DEFENSIVENESS OR JUDGEMENT
“Explore the discomfort, why the issue matters
and what is important to you both. So often, I
have seen people discover that their values were
similar, but they had both weighted their priorities
differently,” Blake says.
54 INTHEBLACK February 2024
3. FOCUS ON OUTCOME
“Consider your options and alternatives before
you have a conversation with a manager. This way,
instead of creating barriers or more problems for
them, you are coming to them with solutions. This
increases the chances of negotiating a workable
solution together.
“Too often, employees come to their managers
with demands or obstacles, which just increases
frustration. If you frame your ideas in a way that
works for you both, you are more likely to reach
agreement,” Blake says.
4. UNDERSTAND EACH PARTY’S
NON-NEGOTIABLES
“These are the points on which you are not
prepared to compromise. It’s okay to disagree or
differ on values, but you don’t necessarily have
the right to demand agreement.
“Rather than getting resentful or angry at this,
try to reframe it as an opportunity to find a job
that resonates and fulfils you,” Blake says.
“Holding on and trying to force change isn’t
always worth the cost. Sometimes, we are better
off moving forward rather than looking back.”
