INTHEBLACK February 2023 - Magazine - Page 43
MedCircle – Dr Ramani Durvasula
Is your boss narcissistic? Signs of narcissism at work
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“It does reputational damage, too,” he
says. “As our reputations are associated
with self-identity, it is essential for our
wellbeing. When it gets attacked, we suffer.”
Michail does not hesitate to conclude
that finding a way to put an end to the
emotionally abusive situation is paramount.
“Self-respect is more important
than the job,” Michail says.
However, Slocombe does not advocate
going head-to-head with a narcissist,
because this can inflame the situation.
“My advice would be to push back a bit,”
Slocombe says. “Try to delay or dilute their
behaviour. For example, if they invite you to have
coffee, say something like, ‘That might work.
I’m not sure, so I’ll get back to you’. Instead
of agreeing with them about everything, say,
‘That’s an interesting perspective’.”
While a love bomber often isolates their
victim, befriending colleagues can help.
Knowing that you are not alone can be
empowering. It can eliminate shame and
help a victim once they learn that this
is a pattern of behaviour from the love
bomber, rather than something new.
Reclaiming boundaries is an
important early step to minimising a
love bomber’s behaviour, says Michail.
He encourages victims to listen to their
inner voice and trust their gut feeling.
“Love bombers don’t like boundaries,”
Michail says. “They only like their own
boundaries. They have built an image of
themselves that, in many cases, is based
on perception rather than reality. Setting
boundaries as to what you are willing to
put up with is essential.”
BORROW
Bad Boss: What to
Do If You Work for
One, Manage One
or Are One from
the CPA Library
READ
an INTHEBLACK
article on gaslighting
intheblack.cpaaustralia.com.au 43